youwillalwaysbemybaby

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the whiny

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Sarah Chian
SMU/SOCSCI/RJC/2S03L/Chinese Dance/French Xchange
loves: chinese dance. pink! friends! shopping! talking! eating!

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Sunday, July 24, 2005 : stupid

ok this is what i wrote at 4am. and now at 5.29.. it seems an utter load of rubbish. but just for kicks. because i resent being compared.and i can't be more than what i am.

I wish i could draw you a picture to show
my heart, its whispers haunt me late
into the night. i wish you knew the ebb and flow
of my words. i wish you could see my pain.

but, no, in someways i don't want you to see the pain
if it would only cause you more. if only words could
be salt then they would dissolve like tears in rain
or just fall through my open palms.

i hear nothing while you sleep far away- like a
baby, oblivious and conscious. i know you can't
turn back, won't take back the words you say
but do you know? no i don't think you do-

i don't think you heard how the glass heart diminished
into pieces, its shards sting me again...
and again. i, too, wish i could learn the art
of how to tune out the world, and like

you, fall into the deepest slumber.

*i want to dream meaningless dreams. i want this just to be pseudo poetry and nothing else. i want to... but i just can't.

i love you. but i can't except that our relationship is, was, and will only ever be a lie.

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